Amir

Amir is part of the Stepping Up group in Scarborough. He shares his story of faith,

My early life 

I was born in 1999, to an English dad and a British-Pakistani mum. Historically, there were two 'strands' of religion in my family: Catholicism and Islam, but I was raised as an atheist. I was never a hardline New-Atheist, though. I was, like many others, mired in the vague agnosticism that is so prevalent today. 

When I was a teenager, I developed an interest in philosophy. The only way to access any sort of philosophy in my school (and sixth form, by extension) was to study religion. Looking back, this was my first exposure to serious Christianity, and the seeds of faith were probably sown there. 

Deep thinking and searching 

I went on to study philosophy at university. But as I learned more and thought about things more deeply, the more I came to believe that scepticism and nihilism were inevitable. Materialism (the belief that the only things that exist are matter and void) seemed to be inescapable. And the consequences of materialism are dire: Free will is an illusion. Morality has no foundation. There is no purpose to human existence, or to the existence of the universe in general. 

Around the same time, I was going through a difficult time in my personal life. I was very socially isolated and struggled with motivation. I coasted along in my studies and eventually failed university. A thousand unresolved issues from the past had reared their ugly heads in my mind. Together with my pessimistic philosophical outlook, all this led me to a dark place mentally. In the end, I couldn't see the point in going on living. 

Hope in the darkness 

Even in total darkness, the Lord began to poke His way into my life. I could remember what I learnt about faith in my school days. I could see the profound sense of peace that Christians enjoy. I stumbled across various materials online, such as the work of Dr Jordan Peterson (who is rather controversial nowadays, but his earlier self-help book '12 Rules for Life' was a step in the right direction), videos by Bishop Robert Barron and the Word on Fire Institute, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, and most importantly the New Testament itself. The philosophy I held before didn't even cover half the picture. True healing, guidance and purpose could only be found in Jesus Christ; He who is the way, the truth and the life. 

I had become convinced that Christianity had to be true. It was either God or the abyss. 

Stepping Up 

With the help of Craig Henderson, a Mustard Seed Community Minister and a friend of many years, I found my way into St. Martin's Church, Scarborough. Over time, I settled in and was baptised in 2023. Not long after that, I started serving at the altar. Belief in God is one thing, but being part of His church is what has really facilitated my spiritual development. I am in a much better place now, in my mind and in my life generally. As our former vicar Fr David put it, the Christian faith is 'food for the journey'. 

I was eventually recommended by Craig for Stepping Up. Though I was quite nervous about it, I gave it a go. Sometimes other people can see us better than we see ourselves. If he thought I could do it then I should give it a try, I said to myself. I am very glad that I did! 

I didn't know what to expect at first, having heard that the rest of my Stepping Up group all came from the same church, but they have been so warm and welcoming. I feel like I have known them all for years! The course itself has been tremendously edifying. I have come to understand myself and my local community much better. Liz is a great teacher, and the course contains a wealth of practical resources and spiritual guidance. If anyone reading this gets the opportunity to do Stepping Up, I highly recommend it! 

“Man shall not live by bread alone.” How true that is! 

To Jesus Christ be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.