Jenni

Jenni is part of the community at Christ Church, Bridlington and joined Stepping Up in 2023, she shares her story below.

I started going to church with an elderly neighbour when I was just a small child. She spoke about God and Jesus regularly, and it was just accepted and trusted.  As I became a teenager and a young adult, I went through a few difficult situations, and I wasn't around anyone who had faith. I started to rely on my own independence and be self-reliant. I still had faith, but it felt like an invisible friend, something that only I believed in. I was reluctant to put my trust in God as I was fearful of being let down or being ridiculed.

As I progressed into adulthood, I wanted to reconnect with God so I went to the church I had visited as a child. I got there early and sat on a pew in the middle, shortly after I arrived a lady came over to me and told me I was sitting in her place. She wasn't asking me to move up, she was telling me to move!! I left that church and didn't go back. When my children were born, I had them christened at the local churches where I was living, but I didn't join them as I was worried about being rejected again.

A few years later, I started seeing a pastoral counsellor at a different church as my Dad was dying of dementia. She prayed for me at the end of every session, and after a few sessions, I told her how I wanted to rejoin a church, but I was very wary. She offered to come with me and my children to the family gathering at the church where we were doing our counselling sessions. I agreed, and we arranged to meet outside before going in. I was expecting her to introduce me to people as her client. However, she said, 'I'd like to introduce you to my friend Jenni MY FRIEND!!!’. I couldn't believe it, everyone was so welcoming and friendly. She came with me for the next couple of Sundays before asking me if I was confident to come along with my children on my own. I was. I've been coming to church ever since.

I was so nervous about walking into a church after my bad experience, and I was really worried about asking questions regarding faith. In the church that I go to, I have met some amazing people who are very happy to discuss all aspects of faith. No question is too daft or silly. I was really apprehensive about coming to church as an adult. Especially as I felt inexperienced in my walk with God. I've always had a faith. it's just that sometimes, in my journey, I have really pushed it to the back of my mind (and life).  

Since starting Mustard Seed, we have been developing our relationship with Jesus and looking at our communities and how we can help to make disciples and to share God's word. I really feel like I want to make church an accessible place for those people who haven't been brought up in a church community or church family. For those who church isn't easily accepted or expected. I want to build a bridge so that they can find a way to take that first step into church, and they can have the kind of welcome that I finally received.

For me, I had an idea of what 'proper Christians’ were like, and I could never match up to that. Now I realise that God made me exactly as I am, and he loves me for it. I still have a lot to learn, and I know it is a lifelong journey, but Stepping Up has offered me the opportunity to look into my relationship with Jesus, to develop my knowledge of the bible and to see how I can help my community to grow in discipleship. Everyone deserves to have a relationship with the Lord, and I just think for some people, it's knowing where to start and knowing that you can be supported and encouraged on your journey. I really want to be a part of that for other people. God loves you, and so do we. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ together.