Kerry

Kerry Dade, from Holy Nativity Eastfield is a member of the Scarborough Stepping Up group and tells us something of her Stepping Up journey so far.

When I was asked to join the Stepping Up course, I found myself saying “yes” without really knowing what I was saying “yes” to!!  For me, that is rather alien as I like to know what I’m doing, when and why.  This journey of uncertainty is part of my journey of faith as I learn increasingly to “trust”, not “lean on my own understanding”, to “acknowledge God”, having the promise that, as I do, “He will direct my paths”. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

I love gardening and it is often in the garden or when going for a walk in the countryside, that God reveals Himself to me.  I have recently put down some new grass seed and watched it grow and thicken.  I am always amazed when things grow from such small beginnings, yet all I did was create the right conditions, protect the seed from birds and water it frequently.  I did not have the ability to cause the growth. 

That is both humbling and exciting.  It’s not down to me!  I just have to work with the master gardener.  As I reflected on this, I read in my morning reading how God is like a “gardener who puts boundaries in place to ensure new grass seeds are not trampled underfoot” and “who will passionately protect that which he has seeded in me”. It’s as if someone had read my mind!  It thrills me when God confirms what He is saying through the bible, through other people or a book, through an image or a thought.

This term, we have been thinking of the different ways we communicate with God, through our senses, the bible, silence, dreams and visions to name a few, and I have become more aware of the importance of spending time with God, drawing closer to Him and, from that place of intimacy, responding to Him and to others.

Putting aside that time to just “be” is a challenge but the need to “abide” in order to be fruitful is a cry from the Father’s heart and something I need to listen to.

Going back to the gardening analogy, I long to be more fruitful, which I know means being pruned, focusing on those things that truly matter, letting go of my ways of doing things and reminding myself that God chose me, I didn’t choose Him and “he appointed me to go and bear fruit” (John 15:1-17)

The beginning of this journey started with a “yes” and my prayer is that I will have the courage and the will to continue to say “yes” even with the uncertainty of where that will lead.